I am a goldfish.

No seriously. Part of the reason why I haven't posted recently is my inability to remember my password HAHAHA. Goodness me. o___o

I finally gave up and wrote it down! YAYYYY. According to my father, passwords are stupid and should be simple. He told me the other day that he wanted to invent a program that manages passwords! (But some app developer beat him to it.) I come from a strange family. :D

Ahhh I shouldn't be posting at this time but there's nothing better to do at work. I could finish my poem or read my book (I think it's the best birthday present ahaha~ :D But I feel bad making you spend money on me. ><) or draw something (no, not the game) but... oh well. Since someone requested some entertainment, I might as well post. (Or you can call the above paragraph an excuse.)

Although it didn't end that well, that was quite a nice way and a nice place to spend a day. Complete with warmth, a book, tea, a bed and red eggs. ^^ I thought about it and yep, can't ask for more~ -sigh-

But speaking of red eggs, I just discovered today that most people don't know about the red eggs and red yeast rice (I'm trusting google to translate here). It's a tradition in my family (on my mother's side) to eat the eggs and soup made from the rice with noodles on special occasions, including birthdays haha. :D Strangely enough, my mother doesn't like the taste of it while my sister and I do! o.o

I guess I shall end here for now! Still feel guilty slacking during office hours. o_o

Expectations, realisations.

Blah. I realise there is a saturation point to expressing your depression when it comes to grades. ._. Well, expectations are there to be unfulfilled, aren't they? I give up, I guess all I can do now is to do more practices. -sigh- At least Cheng Yong owes me a cup of tea? ._. But honestly, I'm not happy he didn't do better than me. What happened to bets being good motivation? ):

On a lighter note, my sister says to mention her 'pregnancy' pangs! D: Which is really just her being a glutton and demanding I pass her some kind of food every 5 minutes. =_= Her friend asked if her cravings were because she was pregnant, tsk tsk.

Here are some weird things to fill up empty space! (Since I don't feel like typing anymore, but don't want to shut down my computer yet.)

You Are a Limerick

It may seem simple to be so clever But writing you is quite an endeavor You are known to be a bit naughty But no one would consider you haughty And people will talk about you forever

What Type of Poem Are You?

Oh look, a lit blogthing.

You Are a Blizzard

You are both dangerous but beautiful. People both welcome you and fear you. You can cause a lot of trouble and even destruction. Some would argue that you're worth it though! You tend to overtake people and change everything. You aren't subtle, but you are sometimes hard to see through. There is a quiet and stillness that you sometimes bring. Some find you to be quite peaceful.

What Kind of Storm Are You?

You Are a Cirrus Cloud

You're a bit mysterious and reserved. You mostly keep to yourself and do your own thing. Some people may even consider you allusive. You're hard to track down at times. People who know you find you to be very transparent. It's always easy to tell what you're thinking about. You tend to drift more than most people. You're always trying out new ideas, friends, and even personalities.

What Kind of Cloud Are You?

Can this be considered a geog blogthing?

You Are a Water Charmer

You charm with a deep intuition. You seem to sense what each person wants and longs for. You come across as coy and mysterious. Without trying to be, you are a very intriguing person. You are emotionally in tune with everyone you meet. You rarely read people wrong. You want to make the world a better place. You can be quite passionate about your ideals.

What Kind of Charmer Are You?

You Should Be An Aquarius

What's good about you: philosophical and idealistic, you are a great thinker What's bad about you: you require a lot of space - it's hard to get close to you In love: you're quirky and playful, but you hate to be smothered In friendship, you're: likely to have many acquaintances and very few good friends Your ideal job: pilot, snow boarder, or science fiction writer Your sense of fashion: unconventional, unique outfits that turn heads You like to pig out on: anything with garlic or unique spices

What Sign Should You Be?

Ahaha I am an Aquarius! -.- I guess I was born the right sign?

Your Home is Lively

Whether you live by yourself or with many other people, your home is always buzzing with activity. You are likely to have water boiling for tea or a fire burning in the fireplace. You live in every area of your home, and you really savor your time there. You could never feel at home in an empty or quiet house. A home should be enjoyed to the fullest.

The Homebody Test

Ehh my house is too quiet/empty. ._. But this is quite true I guess.

You Are a Cat

You are agile and mysterious. You have you own way of navigating the world. You enjoy exploring new ideas and places, but you also like to be able to retreat quickly. You are a bit standoffish and aloof, but you aren't shy. In fact, you are brave and courageous. Always resourceful and fearless, you can handle any situation. You are a survivor.

What Origami Animal Are You?

The cat is cute~ :D Shall learn to fold!

You Are the Alarm Clock

You don't have much of an opinion on mornings. No matter whether you like them or hate them, you have to get up. Your mornings tend to be a bit of a rushed affair. You have to be out the door by a certain time, and you have to hustle. You are not a big fan of wasting time, and the morning is no exception. You have a lot to get done, and it's time to get cracking. It's fair to say that you're on autopilot during the wee hours of the day. You have mornings down to a science.

What Part of the Morning Are You?

You Should Stay Warm by Cuddling

You are a caring, kind person who really gets happiness from being around others. And a cold night is the perfect excuse to cuddle up with the person (or creature) you love the most. You are nurturing and compassionate. You always make sure that everyone is warm on a cold night. You love the calm and quiet that comes in the middle of winter. You feel at peace when everyone else is at peace.

How Should You Stay Warm?

Seriously? ._. But it's weird!

You Want to Talk to Someone Playful

You love people who are ready to flirt, play, and exchange witticisms. You like a good conversational sparring partner. You're a very clear thinker. Your ideas are rarely half-baked and almost always make sense. You are a bit of a gossip, but only in a lighthearted way. You love to talk about people you know. You are quite attractive, and you know it. You can tell when you've caught someone's eye.

Who Would You Talk To?

Yay~ Such people are fun to talk to. xD (Lol I don't think the last lines are true though. -.-)

You Are the Philosopher

You are good at drawing out truths in conversation, however painful they may be. You understand both the meaningfulness and meaninglessness of life. You don't have any illusions. You always think before you talk. You consider your words carefully. Although you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you. You have a natural magnetism.

What's Your Personality Archetype?

Haha okay, that's enough. Shall get back to more productive things. xD

The unexpected difference in post-ages.

Yay~ :D Lousy puns which no one understands in my titles.

Damn, I've not seriously studied for the past week and 2 days. Now I'm slightly worried but as some people I know would say, 爽感~! xD

Seems I don't take to stress overload well. Seems the more stressed I am, the more I withdraw, which makes me more depressed and repressed. Internal rhyming aside, it's a vicious cycle. So, that week and a half was good. (Well, at least it felt pretty good?)

There was no partying (which is really no fun anyway), but it's good to know you have time to waste reading books, baking mooncakes, cooking lunch and screwing up the huisuo and kitchen by turning it into a library and an (oily?) winter wonderland. Ahaha I sound delusional again. o_o Pictures shall appear some other time, perhaps.

...I think I have a phobia of microphones. =_= Pointing one at me is like flipping a switch off. But then again, I have a general fear and dislike for anything that requires me to communicate with an audience (1, 2 or 20, it doesn't matter.) Don't worry, it was still fun.

Oh. Yes, my friend, perspective of height is relative. I never said it wasn't. In fact, scientifically it's called a parallax error, no? But that guy might still be taller, except the extent of the disparity is different between you and I. By the way, I don't see how this blog is worthy of a stalker. ...and I might have guessed eventually using that comment.

I wonder how much more I should censor what I type, but I'm too lazy to bother. Hmm. ._.

Anyway, the post-prelim timetable is...complicated. (Or 眼花缭乱 or whoa, 五彩缤纷 if you prefer!) I'm not even sure how I'm gonna continue planning; currently stuck after 2 weeks. Ahh I think I should be consulting my subject tutors. ._. Hold on, how does one book consultation slots?

Tsk tsk, I shall go in search of the answer to that tomorrow then. For now, sleep sounds like a preferable endeavor.

(Well, well, typing isn't good for a coherent train of thought! D: Encourages 'excessive insertions and deletions' HMM.)

Prelimsss.

Are looming in the background. Oh dear.

Ahaha I've failed to read through Women in Love (which is about men and women in hate, rather.) once more before Tuesday! ...actually I should read through Tess too. Aw, heck.

GP appears to be in shambles too since my teacher specifically requested to see me before the paper. Well, it was just an experiment in style! I'm not planning on writing an example driven essay for the exam! Not my style. D:

Aiyaaa I've been really restless recently! Studying for hours on end is not the most entertaining way to spend your time. Therefore, I tried to play basketball with Cheng Yong, Wai Yan and Ben Goh. .___. (And amused Venus, Sarah and Songhao in the process.) It wasn't to much avail though, I'm still the paradigm of inaccuracy. D: But it's still fun to run around though! Never got the chance during primary and secondary school heh. The people we played against were interesting too, what with this guy who looks 1.8m tall saying he can't jump and catch rebounds, and having doubts about being able to defend against a 1.57m girl who has no experience in playing. -_-

Oh hey, I learnt that basketballs fit perfectly into netball hoops! But only perfectly. They don't go in if you don't have pin-point accuracy. o_o

I haven't typed a post in so long I seem to be rambling less than I usually do.

Hmm. My mum borrowed a cool book about tea! Here's a quote:

'On the eighth day, God created sweet tea.
Some things in life must be enjoyed
looking at the clouds and waiting for the rain.' - Carvin Melon

'There is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment
in a chest of tea.' - Ralph Waldo Emerson (I think this one is quite famous.)

... meh. fun. is an interesting band.

Some Nights! I only just discovered what I think are allusions to war. o_o

Ho-hum, shall get back to work. ):

My life revolves around...?

Oh really? That's an interesting statement! But I beg to differ.

I thought about it on the long way home but I still think no. ._. My life essentially revolves around what I see as the many problems with the world, my life and myself. I choose not to discuss these things because I feel they are my problems, and mine alone. I don't even think they're appropriate to put on the web. Otherwise, I get fixated on things that don't stem from the life around me and would neither make sense nor interest most people (like clouds and the atmosphere, or a sudden curiosity in what defines a cat, or finding out why mimosa plants can grow into trees).

Coupled with the fact that I don't like interacting with most people because they usually bore me, are too noisy or make me feel left out unintentionally, all in all you could say I don't get out much. -_- I don't really have interesting things I observed to talk about because classes just go by in this mundane way, and so do lunch breaks. I think it's hard for topics that interest me to come up especially in a large group of people. D: Somehow the extent to which I shut down and shut up is proportionate to the number of people present in the conversation. As a result, go around rather alone. Sadly, there's a lack of occurrences, things or people to discuss.

If not, I doubt things. I spend a lot of time doubting our political system, doubting our education, doubting my abilities, doubting my existence, doubting the meaning of life. You could say it's all quite pointless and bleak, but firstly, I agree with that and secondly, I don't really want to discuss it with people. The way I see it, life is generally pointless and annoying. I'd rather discuss more light-hearted things that make both you and I happy, right? I could talk to you about the book I'm reading, but currently it's basically about the weakness, ineptitude or ill fate of people under the conscious or unconscious influence of power. Much of what goes on in my head is basically cynicism or doubt, or things that trouble me that I know I can't solve, which I'd hate to dump on anyone. If I go about sharing these things I think I'll get trapped in a spiral of negativity.

I don't like how my grades jump from better than good to failure. I can't figure out how to phrase my answers properly but I can't quite discuss my subjects with you either. -SIGH- Anyway, the fact that my grades aren't proportionate to the amount of effort I put in is just frustrating.

My dad was telling me that nothing in life is that important.
I still can't understand that concept. I actually feel (oh wow, I always thought I was more of an emotionless fish) that life should be important. Or is it the idea that 'life is to important to take seriously'? Ah, Oscar Wilde. I wonder how such an important thing as life can be worthless.

Yep okay! I shall sleep!

舒缓压力嘛。

对不起，我好像看不开了。说真的，这次‘比赛’让我更深地了解人生的不公平。这能算是分出高低吗？简直就是一开始就决定好要让谁会是赢家。在拼有什么用？人家一生都没学会公正。可能是没人教过吧。至于自己，我实在没料到会发生这种事。早知道就不该下去练，不会答应代替你。要怪也只能怪自己傻。付出总会化为一场空。但是我算是有一点情不自禁了？不清楚从什么时候开始喜欢上打套路，更不知道自己为何感染到那种精神: 那种辉煌的‘自强不息，永不言败’的精神。为自己鼓掌吧，因为你们这群人实在有魅力！能激励他人不怕痛，不怕累，坚持下去不是一件容易的事。对不起，我无法发挥在这一年来你们教我的一切。

对不起，我不擅长表达自己的心思。所以相信根本不会有人了解，虽然可能还会有人在乎。或许就用一百个对不起表达！

奇怪。当初加入武术队十分不甘愿，现在要离开却觉得万万不舍。花了六年的时间，虽然学到了许多，根本没什么实在的收获。怎么办？

Is it fate?

Well. Tomorrow's the last day of competitions! Competitions are funny things. They're unpredictable no matter how good or bad you are. Or how hard you've worked. Because unreliably inevitably people injure themselves or find out they have asthma! What the heck. My ankle didn't even bother me this time but whoa, wheezing?! Walao. What a joke.

The point is it's just sad that I didn't contribute any points when I probably could have, especially for dao. DDDD: I don't knowwww. If I had started learning gun earlier, or if my lungs didn't die on me, I might have placed. -SIGH-

Feels like a waste of effort. Even though it was the best I could do under the circumstances! (In conclusion the circumstances kinda suck.)

There's only A levels to work towards now! Unfortunately, mugging gets really boring after a while. Pfffft.

I guess I should sleep soon. ):