Instability.

Of my mind that is. I'm losing my ability to laugh painful things off. Must be the fact that the total amount of sleep I have gotten over the past 3 days being less than of equal to 10 hours. Funny, shouldn't the minimum be 24 hours?

Wonder what it means when you can't stop laughing at how messed up life is at the moment. It's not even humorous, it's just wry. Combined with inability to comprehend passages, spell words you know on the first try, add 7 and 17 under 3 seconds, trying to get yourself killed through convincing Venus incoherence is logical and flinging carrom seeds at her, laughing till it hurts at whatever monosyllable Ching Yee throws at you, shouting and ranting for the first time in years at 7.30 in the morning and so on, so forth.

I'm losing my mind. I feel the urge to hit something. Serious.

I doubt I can pass the integration quiz tomorrow considering I have frickin' chapter 1 to finish writing by tonight.

On a side note, it is not staying in school that tires me out. In fact, after spending (not wasting!) 5 hours laughing/talking/playing/sleeping I can now understand my newspaper article. You on the other hand, tire me endlessly through your ranting which I can't seem to tolerate in this state, demands I do housework at this time and general aura of distaste of me you give off. Just screw off for a bit, will you? It's hard enough not to break down as it is. Give me a space to clear my backlog if you really understand what it means to be tired.

Why is today not Friday?

Oy vey, look at the time!

I just had to rant a bit since, well, I'm screwed either way.

Like I was telling Sarah, PW should really just go screw itself so it can be (re)productive and I wouldn't have to do a friggin' thing! O:

Hoho, discovered that my windows messenger is not functioning as it should. How well can it be functioning if it tricks you into believing your messages to your group have been delivered for over 2 hours and leaves you perplexed as to why they don't respond to your comments. ._. And discover they're scolding you for shoddy work. But 'tis okay, 'cause I know it's rightfully so.

Life is burning away right now. Tutorials 'need' to be done, WR needs to be written and researched, MAF must be choreographed and much practice must be put in (though we all know it's an impossible feat to improve whatsoever). What's summed up in a few words here is furtively a damned fold mountain (which are the highest on earth, by the way).

I'm sorry to everyone to whom I owe an apology. I know I'm screwing things up for you, but right now, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Will try to catch up and dig my way out of my pit of screws with a screwdriver. Possibly.

The day I lose the propensity for satire is the day you should worry for my sanity. Not joking this time. ):

Pfffft 'Unwell' is a fitting song for if you go mad.

'...I should get some sleep because tomorrow might be good for something.'

Of railways, grades and magical people.

The title evokes Hogwarts images, doesn't it? =\

Bah. I see I have failed my teachers somewhat. o_o And I still have 3 more papers to receive, and those are the ones I have less faith in. D: Permission to live under a table somewhere and not come out?

Anyway, I see the whole populace of 661, Bukit Timah Road has decided to spend a portion of their half-day watching the boy with a scar on his forehead. ._. Tell me why I have this feeling it's all just hype. -_- We could always go find real people with real scars on their foreheads to stare at. =_=

Oh. Family conversations over lunch are amusing as ever. Take this to be my dad, this to be my mum, (this to be my sister) and this to be me.

'Recently, so-and-so's mum died from cancer! How do people get cancer anyway?'

'Cancer cells are mutated cells. Actually... everyone has them.'

('How do they tell which cancer is which cancer?')

'You see ah, if your nose has cancer you call it nose cancer. If your eye has cancer it's eye cancer. If you brain has cancer, it's brain cancer.'

'Huh you can get cancer in the brain?!'

'Brain cancer very serious one, you know!'

'...obviously.'

And so on. ._. The topic of mortality at our dining tables comes up quite frequently. D:

It's now 3 in the afternoon and I haven't gotten past exercise 2 of my I&I! Considering there are a grand total of eleven exercises, I can safely say I'm screwed. Not to mention stuff for WR, EoM, math and econs tutorial and the other 2/3 of my book for the book review. o_o

And. And. Is the thing about performing for real? ... D: It's a disturbing prospect (especially since I've only half our jiti left in my head and our competition video MIA).

Oh dear. I owe Bang Ying a favour or something for saving my wallet. O: Eternally grateful! ><

Oh eh hello Sarah my mum wants to go take a walk at the defunct KTM railway. -.- Ahaha.

The Cold War didn't take place in subzero conditions, serious.

I don't know if there's an underlying reason for wanting to read a book on the cold war. Maybe it's because everyone was mugging Chem on Thursday! Maybe it's 'cause it bothered Ching Yee who was mugging hard. ._. Had nothing better to do, haha. :D

Oh but I'm serious about the Cold War not having little to nothing to do with the environmental temperature. xD It had more to do with potential to wipe Earth off the face of the Universe. That would be one less satellite for Bang Ying. Aww. =\

Damn I should be doing some kind of work, especially since I've been slacking off the whole weekend. I've a good quote for this! 'Ah, but what the hell. You know it's just as well, 'cause after a while and a thousand miles it all becomes the same.' xD From 'The Entertainer', which isn't quite as appropriate.

I've started on my dark/angst fic, but I haven't finished my fluff one! D: Feel like slapping me yet? Haha. ._. I have a gap in my story blueprint for the part before the ending though. =(

Pffft. This is blatant frittering away of time. Oh my damn that sounds like sticking time onto a skewer and deep frying it in hot oil until it's crispy. :D And that sounded simultaneously edible and disturbing. o_o

Pardon me while I go off and fritter my brain. =_=

Time, like a stream.

Why does time pass so fast? In fact, time seems to go by even faster when you perceive the life you lead to be a good one. Somehow I feel happier now than in the past, thanks to some abstract sense of belonging. Time seemed to pass by a lot slower during primary school: doodling/reading unrelated things throughout class, taking the school bus home in silence, reading some more until I fell asleep when I got home but when I woke up the sky would not even have turned a shade darker.

Everyone is brought into this world the same way ice of a glacier melts to become a drop of water. This droplet inevitably flows downward to the ground, picking up new experiences and meeting and forming bonds with other drops of water. These accumulate into a stream and then into a river. The speed at which it flows gets faster and faster from the beginning of the journey to the end, where the water ends up in the sea, the life as you have led until that end. Perhaps it is a record of your personal experiences, or perhaps a source for humanity's collective consciousness to tap on. Whatever it is, it would have gone by fast and furious, the possibility of it being forgotten is near absolute. At the end, all the tumultuous episodes might mean nothing to everyone but you. Remembering to treasure the present has never seemed so important till now.

Damn I bet that was the result of withdrawal symptoms from tea or something. =_=

On to happier things! The insanity CCA mates are capable of is epic! xD I need to show the rest of you the relationship chart Ching Yee, Cheng Yong and I came up with. O: But I should really tear that page out of my lit lecture notebook before my lit teacher starts questioning my mental state. o_o

That's for tomorrow then! 'Cause I'm allowed to visit juniors for open house, yay~ :D

Sarah, your stories are very happy! And really good entertainment when I'm not supposed to entertain myself. :D :D :D You know how it's nicer to read/watch happy things when life is tiring/sad? ._.

I just realised that I'm supposed to be supporting people somewhere. o_o Eek. I'll... ... figure something out.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM 100% GOING TO MOVE OUT THE SECOND I HAVE A CHANCE TO.

Because nothing in my room is worth keeping, or keeping in the order I like it to.

Of murderous conundrums. :D

What is there to say? xD Going to huangcheng was an amusing experience! Oh no, I hope everyone went home too tired or too engrossed with the actual play to remember the malu people running across the hall. =x Ahahahaha darn. Anyway, the plot was rather interesting! 黄城 about 黄城, not a bad idea. x) Yay, spotted Susi on stage~ ^^ I didn't talk to Yi Ting much/enough though. =(

More interesting was all the conundrums that we started talking about. xD Some were simply interesting, but most were disturbing. o_o Seaweed, shipwrecks, infants in freezers, broken matchsticks, funerals, dolphins and turkeys all add up to good entertainment, haha. Apologies to the people in the bus for our rowdiness! >< Too bad our combined consciousness couldn't conjure up some stories in their entirety. =\ Wonder if anyone's tried to go home and remember... My personal favourite is still the one which goes: A group of people wander into a place, where a sign said 'More seats upstairs'. But they couldn't find any stairs, why? Heh. (; The other one which involves someone going to check the train schedule and never coming back is pretty interesting too. :D

Eh but could people be any more punctual? :D Whee~ I'm not trying to take a stab at anyone! It's just a genuine curiousity as to how people end up late. o.o And I'm sorry we both just kept staring at our phones until Chingyee came! ><

I just realised we're missing training for every Monday we miss. D: Degeneration is painful/annoying/worrisome/sad. ._. And lit lectures~ D: Noooooo~

This is terrible. I've just slept the past two days away for some unknown reason. D: Consequently, I have left myself a day to complete three (or more) days of work. o_o Well, I foresee dire consequences.

Bye for now! :D