Expectations, realisations.

Blah. I realise there is a saturation point to expressing your depression when it comes to grades. ._. Well, expectations are there to be unfulfilled, aren't they? I give up, I guess all I can do now is to do more practices. -sigh- At least Cheng Yong owes me a cup of tea? ._. But honestly, I'm not happy he didn't do better than me. What happened to bets being good motivation? ):

On a lighter note, my sister says to mention her 'pregnancy' pangs! D: Which is really just her being a glutton and demanding I pass her some kind of food every 5 minutes. =_= Her friend asked if her cravings were because she was pregnant, tsk tsk.

Here are some weird things to fill up empty space! (Since I don't feel like typing anymore, but don't want to shut down my computer yet.)

You Are a Limerick

It may seem simple to be so clever But writing you is quite an endeavor You are known to be a bit naughty But no one would consider you haughty And people will talk about you forever

What Type of Poem Are You?

Oh look, a lit blogthing.

You Are a Blizzard

You are both dangerous but beautiful. People both welcome you and fear you. You can cause a lot of trouble and even destruction. Some would argue that you're worth it though! You tend to overtake people and change everything. You aren't subtle, but you are sometimes hard to see through. There is a quiet and stillness that you sometimes bring. Some find you to be quite peaceful.

What Kind of Storm Are You?

You Are a Cirrus Cloud

You're a bit mysterious and reserved. You mostly keep to yourself and do your own thing. Some people may even consider you allusive. You're hard to track down at times. People who know you find you to be very transparent. It's always easy to tell what you're thinking about. You tend to drift more than most people. You're always trying out new ideas, friends, and even personalities.

What Kind of Cloud Are You?

Can this be considered a geog blogthing?

You Are a Water Charmer

You charm with a deep intuition. You seem to sense what each person wants and longs for. You come across as coy and mysterious. Without trying to be, you are a very intriguing person. You are emotionally in tune with everyone you meet. You rarely read people wrong. You want to make the world a better place. You can be quite passionate about your ideals.

What Kind of Charmer Are You?

You Should Be An Aquarius

What's good about you: philosophical and idealistic, you are a great thinker What's bad about you: you require a lot of space - it's hard to get close to you In love: you're quirky and playful, but you hate to be smothered In friendship, you're: likely to have many acquaintances and very few good friends Your ideal job: pilot, snow boarder, or science fiction writer Your sense of fashion: unconventional, unique outfits that turn heads You like to pig out on: anything with garlic or unique spices

What Sign Should You Be?

Ahaha I am an Aquarius! -.- I guess I was born the right sign?

Your Home is Lively

Whether you live by yourself or with many other people, your home is always buzzing with activity. You are likely to have water boiling for tea or a fire burning in the fireplace. You live in every area of your home, and you really savor your time there. You could never feel at home in an empty or quiet house. A home should be enjoyed to the fullest.

The Homebody Test

Ehh my house is too quiet/empty. ._. But this is quite true I guess.

You Are a Cat

You are agile and mysterious. You have you own way of navigating the world. You enjoy exploring new ideas and places, but you also like to be able to retreat quickly. You are a bit standoffish and aloof, but you aren't shy. In fact, you are brave and courageous. Always resourceful and fearless, you can handle any situation. You are a survivor.

What Origami Animal Are You?

The cat is cute~ :D Shall learn to fold!

You Are the Alarm Clock

You don't have much of an opinion on mornings. No matter whether you like them or hate them, you have to get up. Your mornings tend to be a bit of a rushed affair. You have to be out the door by a certain time, and you have to hustle. You are not a big fan of wasting time, and the morning is no exception. You have a lot to get done, and it's time to get cracking. It's fair to say that you're on autopilot during the wee hours of the day. You have mornings down to a science.

What Part of the Morning Are You?

You Should Stay Warm by Cuddling

You are a caring, kind person who really gets happiness from being around others. And a cold night is the perfect excuse to cuddle up with the person (or creature) you love the most. You are nurturing and compassionate. You always make sure that everyone is warm on a cold night. You love the calm and quiet that comes in the middle of winter. You feel at peace when everyone else is at peace.

How Should You Stay Warm?

Seriously? ._. But it's weird!

You Want to Talk to Someone Playful

You love people who are ready to flirt, play, and exchange witticisms. You like a good conversational sparring partner. You're a very clear thinker. Your ideas are rarely half-baked and almost always make sense. You are a bit of a gossip, but only in a lighthearted way. You love to talk about people you know. You are quite attractive, and you know it. You can tell when you've caught someone's eye.

Who Would You Talk To?

Yay~ Such people are fun to talk to. xD (Lol I don't think the last lines are true though. -.-)

You Are the Philosopher

You are good at drawing out truths in conversation, however painful they may be. You understand both the meaningfulness and meaninglessness of life. You don't have any illusions. You always think before you talk. You consider your words carefully. Although you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you. You have a natural magnetism.

What's Your Personality Archetype?

Haha okay, that's enough. Shall get back to more productive things. xD

The unexpected difference in post-ages.

Yay~ :D Lousy puns which no one understands in my titles.

Damn, I've not seriously studied for the past week and 2 days. Now I'm slightly worried but as some people I know would say, 爽感~! xD

Seems I don't take to stress overload well. Seems the more stressed I am, the more I withdraw, which makes me more depressed and repressed. Internal rhyming aside, it's a vicious cycle. So, that week and a half was good. (Well, at least it felt pretty good?)

There was no partying (which is really no fun anyway), but it's good to know you have time to waste reading books, baking mooncakes, cooking lunch and screwing up the huisuo and kitchen by turning it into a library and an (oily?) winter wonderland. Ahaha I sound delusional again. o_o Pictures shall appear some other time, perhaps.

...I think I have a phobia of microphones. =_= Pointing one at me is like flipping a switch off. But then again, I have a general fear and dislike for anything that requires me to communicate with an audience (1, 2 or 20, it doesn't matter.) Don't worry, it was still fun.

Oh. Yes, my friend, perspective of height is relative. I never said it wasn't. In fact, scientifically it's called a parallax error, no? But that guy might still be taller, except the extent of the disparity is different between you and I. By the way, I don't see how this blog is worthy of a stalker. ...and I might have guessed eventually using that comment.

I wonder how much more I should censor what I type, but I'm too lazy to bother. Hmm. ._.

Anyway, the post-prelim timetable is...complicated. (Or 眼花缭乱 or whoa, 五彩缤纷 if you prefer!) I'm not even sure how I'm gonna continue planning; currently stuck after 2 weeks. Ahh I think I should be consulting my subject tutors. ._. Hold on, how does one book consultation slots?

Tsk tsk, I shall go in search of the answer to that tomorrow then. For now, sleep sounds like a preferable endeavor.

(Well, well, typing isn't good for a coherent train of thought! D: Encourages 'excessive insertions and deletions' HMM.)

Prelimsss.

Are looming in the background. Oh dear.

Ahaha I've failed to read through Women in Love (which is about men and women in hate, rather.) once more before Tuesday! ...actually I should read through Tess too. Aw, heck.

GP appears to be in shambles too since my teacher specifically requested to see me before the paper. Well, it was just an experiment in style! I'm not planning on writing an example driven essay for the exam! Not my style. D:

Aiyaaa I've been really restless recently! Studying for hours on end is not the most entertaining way to spend your time. Therefore, I tried to play basketball with Cheng Yong, Wai Yan and Ben Goh. .___. (And amused Venus, Sarah and Songhao in the process.) It wasn't to much avail though, I'm still the paradigm of inaccuracy. D: But it's still fun to run around though! Never got the chance during primary and secondary school heh. The people we played against were interesting too, what with this guy who looks 1.8m tall saying he can't jump and catch rebounds, and having doubts about being able to defend against a 1.57m girl who has no experience in playing. -_-

Oh hey, I learnt that basketballs fit perfectly into netball hoops! But only perfectly. They don't go in if you don't have pin-point accuracy. o_o

I haven't typed a post in so long I seem to be rambling less than I usually do.

Hmm. My mum borrowed a cool book about tea! Here's a quote:

'On the eighth day, God created sweet tea.
Some things in life must be enjoyed
looking at the clouds and waiting for the rain.' - Carvin Melon

'There is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment
in a chest of tea.' - Ralph Waldo Emerson (I think this one is quite famous.)

... meh. fun. is an interesting band.

Some Nights! I only just discovered what I think are allusions to war. o_o

Ho-hum, shall get back to work. ):

My life revolves around...?

Oh really? That's an interesting statement! But I beg to differ.

I thought about it on the long way home but I still think no. ._. My life essentially revolves around what I see as the many problems with the world, my life and myself. I choose not to discuss these things because I feel they are my problems, and mine alone. I don't even think they're appropriate to put on the web. Otherwise, I get fixated on things that don't stem from the life around me and would neither make sense nor interest most people (like clouds and the atmosphere, or a sudden curiosity in what defines a cat, or finding out why mimosa plants can grow into trees).

Coupled with the fact that I don't like interacting with most people because they usually bore me, are too noisy or make me feel left out unintentionally, all in all you could say I don't get out much. -_- I don't really have interesting things I observed to talk about because classes just go by in this mundane way, and so do lunch breaks. I think it's hard for topics that interest me to come up especially in a large group of people. D: Somehow the extent to which I shut down and shut up is proportionate to the number of people present in the conversation. As a result, go around rather alone. Sadly, there's a lack of occurrences, things or people to discuss.

If not, I doubt things. I spend a lot of time doubting our political system, doubting our education, doubting my abilities, doubting my existence, doubting the meaning of life. You could say it's all quite pointless and bleak, but firstly, I agree with that and secondly, I don't really want to discuss it with people. The way I see it, life is generally pointless and annoying. I'd rather discuss more light-hearted things that make both you and I happy, right? I could talk to you about the book I'm reading, but currently it's basically about the weakness, ineptitude or ill fate of people under the conscious or unconscious influence of power. Much of what goes on in my head is basically cynicism or doubt, or things that trouble me that I know I can't solve, which I'd hate to dump on anyone. If I go about sharing these things I think I'll get trapped in a spiral of negativity.

I don't like how my grades jump from better than good to failure. I can't figure out how to phrase my answers properly but I can't quite discuss my subjects with you either. -SIGH- Anyway, the fact that my grades aren't proportionate to the amount of effort I put in is just frustrating.

My dad was telling me that nothing in life is that important.
I still can't understand that concept. I actually feel (oh wow, I always thought I was more of an emotionless fish) that life should be important. Or is it the idea that 'life is to important to take seriously'? Ah, Oscar Wilde. I wonder how such an important thing as life can be worthless.

Yep okay! I shall sleep!

舒缓压力嘛。

对不起，我好像看不开了。说真的，这次‘比赛’让我更深地了解人生的不公平。这能算是分出高低吗？简直就是一开始就决定好要让谁会是赢家。在拼有什么用？人家一生都没学会公正。可能是没人教过吧。至于自己，我实在没料到会发生这种事。早知道就不该下去练，不会答应代替你。要怪也只能怪自己傻。付出总会化为一场空。但是我算是有一点情不自禁了？不清楚从什么时候开始喜欢上打套路，更不知道自己为何感染到那种精神: 那种辉煌的‘自强不息，永不言败’的精神。为自己鼓掌吧，因为你们这群人实在有魅力！能激励他人不怕痛，不怕累，坚持下去不是一件容易的事。对不起，我无法发挥在这一年来你们教我的一切。

对不起，我不擅长表达自己的心思。所以相信根本不会有人了解，虽然可能还会有人在乎。或许就用一百个对不起表达！

奇怪。当初加入武术队十分不甘愿，现在要离开却觉得万万不舍。花了六年的时间，虽然学到了许多，根本没什么实在的收获。怎么办？

Is it fate?

Well. Tomorrow's the last day of competitions! Competitions are funny things. They're unpredictable no matter how good or bad you are. Or how hard you've worked. Because unreliably inevitably people injure themselves or find out they have asthma! What the heck. My ankle didn't even bother me this time but whoa, wheezing?! Walao. What a joke.

The point is it's just sad that I didn't contribute any points when I probably could have, especially for dao. DDDD: I don't knowwww. If I had started learning gun earlier, or if my lungs didn't die on me, I might have placed. -SIGH-

Feels like a waste of effort. Even though it was the best I could do under the circumstances! (In conclusion the circumstances kinda suck.)

There's only A levels to work towards now! Unfortunately, mugging gets really boring after a while. Pfffft.

I guess I should sleep soon. ):

就靠意志力了！

I can walk! >D YAY~ I realise I don't realise how important every part of a person's body is until you injure stuff. ._. I love you dear ankle, please recover soon (and fully)! -sigh- Must continue to believe you will recover! I hope the 一圈半 will go fine! D: Plus I'm seriously considering pulling out for 新长拳. It has the highest chance of me re-injuring myself and the lowest chance of winning anything so... ah. Mm.

Well I'm too bored so I shall post a blogthing(or 2). :D 'Kay see ya~

Your Height Says You're Introspective



You are a very vulnerable and spiritual person. Your emotions run deep.

You have a philosophical and poetic soul. You think things through and are a bit of a skeptic.



You tend to be very opinionated. You are a perfectionist with high standards.

You prefer to work alone. You work hard, and you don't like interruptions.



You are about as tall as the average Japanese woman.

What Does Your Height Say About You?

Your True Birth Month Is January




Loyal

Social

Logical

Easily jealous

Loves children

Rather reserved

Highly attentive

Likes to criticize

Needs close friends

Ambitious and serious

Smart, neat and organized

Hardworking and productive

Loves to teach and be taught

Quiet unless excited or tensed

Sensitive and has deep thoughts

Knows how to make others happy

Searches for the greatest romance

Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds

Romantic but has difficulties expressing love

Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses

What's Your True Birth Month?

I don't know about the 'easily jealous', 'loves children', 'highly attentive' and 'likes to criticise' part ahaha. xD

My mother is a genius.

Seriously. She just threw away my remaining oral medication. Well. I have nothing to say. At least I didn't leave my topical medicine in the plastic bag?

I don't understand. If you call up all our distant relatives and your colleagues to moan about my injury, how is it you can kick me in the ankle and not even apologise? Same goes for discarding my medicine. Why the hell do I exist anyway? I really don't think I'm here because you wanted to care. Last time I checked, I take better care of myself than you do. (But then again I don't take very good care of myself.) It's fine if I've a long time to recover, but I don't. ...you're not helping. Goodness.

Aw damn, being angry isn't helping either! TSK.

Yes, that being said I hope the videos upload to mediafire (in 2 hours time). For some reason even the videos smaller than the attachment limit fail to be sent through email! D: -SIGH- I need a hug. And some time away from my mum (which I can't manage). Oh. Need sleep too. Damn it all.

Being a block-ed block.

ARGH block test continues tomorrow! And this time 'round the time table seems even stupider than before because I've 2 empty days to mug Top Girls. ._. (whichIdon'tknowhowtomug.) Well, I suppose it beats ending early and feeling empty. Is that strange? Seems I've gotten so used to studying for things that when I'm not, life feels that much more pointless. Ah, I need to get a life. Perhaps.

Well now, thought I'd give up mugging because the water table in my brain has risen so much that more and more of the surface runoff is saturated overland flow. Physical geog(Y). Translated into English, that means my brain's so saturated stuff is starting to pour out. That's not to say there isn't/wasn't a substantial amount of infiltration excess flow too. (Mugging is too intense, but it has been since last year. ._.)

After looking at the prospectus for universities, I'm damn worried about A levels. The minimum is what, AAB? What if I can't find the right way to answer by November? What if I've forgotten my texts from last year? What if I blank out? What if the questions are deliberately weird? Plus what's wrong with me? I've never panicked over any exam before! Or over most things, in fact. -sigh- This be the annoying thing about caring, I s'pose. You could say I'd rather not invest too much in the things I do, 'cause my emotions get dragged along. D< And damn, do I have no control over them. Emotions are such irritating things! All they've done so far is impede any actual efficiency or progress. Personally, I feel like I lost control over myself if I get emotional, then I get more emotional because I've lost control. Vicious cycle. Sucks. There's also the bit where emotions can't be controlled to begin with, but feeling sad is feeling sad, feeling happy is feeling happy. Hmm.

Meh, is it just me or are my posts crazier around test periods? Ack, I feel a bit insane! o_O

Anyway, speaking of insanity, Ching Yee and I were distracting ourselves with caricatures of people! (One of which became a depressed fluffball, another which was a biantai looking balloon?!) Yes, I guess studying econs isn't good for your sanity! Not that any other subject has the reverse effect? :D Oh neither does talking about, I dunno, hair? o.o

Ah, I'm at a loss for words again. ^^; Eheheh.

Wheeeee social experiments are interesting~ What makes certain things inappropriate and other things fine? (...I still dunno how 'okay' it is to, let's-not-discuss-this-here. >< Eh I feel bothered again although I'm not supposed to. Or aren't I? Eheh. :D) By the way, what if I_? (Ah, I mean, 'Never give up on anything you can't go a day without thinking about'?!) My wonderful friend Denial is failing me~ D: D: D: AW C'MON. ._.

Uhhh here are more inspirational quotes!

'When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.'

'Everything is okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end.'

'I do it because I can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn't.'

'Forget all the reasons why something might not work, all you need is one reason why it will.'

Oh-kay enough inspiration, it's 10pm! Shall sleep early!

I'm like a bird~ (But literate!)

I'll only fly away~ Haha, nah, I don't have wings! Hello, Sarah! Would you care to explain why I remind you of a bird? xD I don't completely understand 'cause as far as I can tell I don't have wings.

... I've been reading about anti-bacterial products. Haha I was curious about the ingredients in my powder so I googled it. Pretty scary. Apparently most of them add chemicals (which I recognise from reading the labels in the shower!) which are carcinogenic. Being the hypochondriac I am, I am disturbed. o__o (Speaking of which, I should lift my wrists off the laptop and place it on a higher, flat surface. Not that I have any -cough- male gametes to worry about but the heat is almost painful.)

Time to digress!

I spent half the day with Ching Yee today. xD At Queenstown library. (No, we didn't invite Jiahe to come.) Trying to annotate my lit book is... tedium to say the least. But it's rather interesting too of course. :D If not, I wouldn't be a lit student. Both of us got distracted by quote books hahaha. Here's an example: 'The only thing I cannot resist is temptation'. O: Such a Wilde thing to say.

Tsk tsk, everyone around me has been telling my to have more confidence. o_o Tall order. I might be able to pretend, but it'll take time. =\ Oh well.

I've just had an epiphany! Y'know, anything with menthol in it should help with itching, right? So perhaps applying tiger balm will relieve it. o.o It's not quite so dangerous compared to other strange concoctions, no? (Yes, the point being that Cheng Yong's eczema is scary to the extent where I mistook the brown marks on his shirt for rust to which he responded, 'Blood. Ignore.' and folded it in. ><) Alright, sorry, let me find more interesting things to talk about. ._. Was distracted by the pot of it on my table. Oh, I was reading somewhere that an active ingredient should help with arthritis in the long run. o.o

Well, uh, sporcle.com is an interesting website! They're 'mentally stimulating diversions'. :D Quite true actually. It's a good place to test your general knowledge too! But don't worry, it's fun. ^^

AH, GP. I'm too verbose. Can be more succinct. Maybe like this. Haha, my normal writing style is peppered with redundant adjectives and add-ons, if you care to notice. D: Sorta like the previous sentence.

Oh! There's a new season of The Mentalist actually! But it isn't aired on channel 5 anymore, sadly. Hmm maybe I'll be able to find it online. Same goes for the BBC series Sherlock. I finished watching the first season on the plane! It just occurred to me that it's been 2012 for a while so it has been out for a while now. ^^

Right, it's almost 1am, so I guess I shouldn't try searching for episodes to watch now. Not like my brain is functioning at the moment either. Until next time then!

Anonymity.

Heh. I like one word/one phrase titles to blog posts! Don't ask me how I come up with them, haha~

I like anonymity too~ It makes doing things another notch more altruistic? 'Cause you can't hope to gain much from whatever you do for others. Heheh.

Oh, but I don't mind if anonymous commentators tell me who they are though! 'Cause I'm friendly, especially over the internet~ :D Thanks for the compliment/suggestion haha!

Ahahahaha double standards, considering I don't leave my full name lying around on the internet.

HMM. :3 (Oh, I know it's impossible to smile like that unless you're a cat.)

There's a V-day special JCC session tomorrow whee~ I can't remember what we're doing exactly, but we're meeting the J1s. I think we might either be making chocolate (which is essentially melting it down and re-moulding them) or having a mystery steamboat where everyone brings something edible to add to the pot. Oh no. I don't really have edible things on hand. ._. The funny thing is, our president said we could leave early if we flashed a photo of our 'dates' to prove it's true. HAHAHA like anyone's going to do it! But it's a pretty good deal objectively speaking. Maybe if you flashed some friend's photo (with their permission) fast enough... >D

Well anyway, I seem to have finished searching for music for jiti before they decided they wanted us to find music for jiti. It was my entertainment/motivation/good distraction during HBL. (Done on the last day eheheh. D:)

Well, time to sleep. Or at least chop up chocolate. Or sew my pants. ... ... ...oh whatever.

Of pianos and poetry.

Oh wow, the title sounds so 温文尔雅 this time. If that's the correct adjective! I don't know an appropriate description in English though. D: Ahhhh flying catfishes save my GP! ... oh! I remember now, the word is genteel. But the meaning carries across much better in Chinese, doesn't it? :D

I figured I'd post since I'm back home before sunset for once, since Ching Yee and the interesting feeling in almost every part of my body convinced me not to bother with 8(?) flights of steps.

Well, piano pieces are really nice~ Except the music scores are damn hard to read, and consequently pianos are damn hard to play. D: Here's a little known fact: the piano was probably the first instrument I liked so much to ask for music lessons. Which explains the familiarity with piano pieces, maybe! -_- I can't think of any other reason why I would know the tune to so many pieces. ._. Actually, it still doesn't tally when I think about it. Hmm, mysterious.

Ah, I'm not kidding when I say someone has a calming influence. ._. Ching Yee and I were discussing this the other day, and we guessed it had something to do with being bochap? Hahaha, but wouldn't that mean the most bochap person I know should have that influence too? -cough-HW-COUGH- Or exert even more influence, for that matter. ._. Oh lookee, another mystery. ... honestly, I feel slightly bad for feeling better by stoning with people at black and white keys. ... ... ...I wonder if it bothers/disturbs/scares the other party. ._. Huh.

Oh right, the poetry bit. Firstly, I owe my poor tutor 6 pieces of lit homework. D: I promise I'll do it after this post! >< One of the assignments is to compose a response in the form of a poem (again). Well, at least writing poetry is more interesting than writing essays. And, uh, if you happen to be Ching or Sarah, I did mention I went a bit mad from studying during promo-period and so went and wrote a poem in a previous blog post, if you care to check. ._. Here it is anyway?

How would you define a Screwdriver?

I must confess and express,

To my distress, I'm impressed by how you're impeccable but always a mess.

You're completely oblivious, conscientious, meticulous, judicious, sacrilegious!

Responsible and unreliable, you endure that you're sure and insecure.

Equal parts quiet and reticent, insane and inane, oh dear, you are quite the pain.

But you amaze for you're a maze, safe and ensnaring, impassive, engaging, minute but binding.

It shouldn't be instinctive to find you distinctive, people believe; but you've a penchant to be inconclusive, sometimes explosive! They must be too dismissive.

Perhaps you're just cryptic, but maybe simply because you're simplistic.

Please grant me some apathy to your patience and empathy, it's all too subtly amusing, calming, confusing for the likes of - Screw this!

I apologise, beg you to spare me, and become conscious of your unconscious hold over my subconscious.

Or possibly not.

WELL THERE YOU GO. It's a terrible poem, really. I was happily experimenting with the sound of the words with the help of a thesaurus on a public bus. Seriously, on a bus, mind you! Frankly, promos mess with your head. UHH I RECKON I'LL CHANGE MY MIND AND TAKE IT DOWN SOON. D: It's not the best thing to plonk on the world wide web, really. (天啊我不清楚我到底在干嘛呀。)

Oh I seem to have chanced upon a spin-off of the 小妹妹变态 game Fan Yi plays in the app market.

Damn it I don't have anything else to ramble about. Uh, there's PE tomorrow and I might die! From remnant PT pain whee~

I shall leave this page before I die from hesitation, humiliation, procrastination or all three. Besides, now I need to find a box to hide in. ._.